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My dear mama, I know the “perfect window” feels like it’s passed. I know the voices telling you “too late” echo in your mind. Maybe your little one spent days in the NICU, or maybe you were lost in the haze of postpartum exhaustion, anxiety, or grief. Maybe you simply needed time to catch your […]
Behind the Camera
Xan
Heller
Born and raised in the Bay Area, I was dubbed the “artistic one” of the family early on. I was always busy creating something: architectural sketches of our home, a six-foot paper mâché whale, magazine collages covering every inch of my walls (and ceiling), tiny handmade gifts, stories about cats… there was always something in progress.
Naturally, I went on to study film at Chapman University, but it was there, through an unexpected nudge from a cinematography professor, that I realized what I was really drawn to was the still image.
That realization led me from London to New York to Los Angeles - working with publications like Vogue, Men's Vogue, Brides, Los Angeles Times Magazine, and C California Style. I earned a degree in Photography & Imaging from Art Center College of Design in 2008.
Life then brought me briefly to Austin, Texas where I met my husband, and eventually back to the Bay Area, where we’re now raising our three boys, two tuxedo cats, and one very stubborn husky. My entry to motherhood was not easy. My first son suffered a brain injury at birth and in a single moment, our lives were forever changed.
It wasn’t until I came out of the fog of early motherhood that I felt the pull to reclaim myself - to remember that I am more than just “mom.” Through connection, creativity, and a slow return to self, I’ve found my way back. And in that process, I’ve learned how to truly see and celebrate the woman I’ve always been - and the one I’m still becoming.
That’s what I hold space for in my work.
It’s a privilege to create portraits that help women recognize their own strength, their beauty, and the truth of who they are.
Born and raised in the Bay Area, I was dubbed the “artistic one” of the family early on. I was always busy creating something: architectural sketches of our home, a six-foot paper mâché whale, magazine collages covering every inch of my walls (and ceiling), tiny handmade gifts, stories about cats… there was always something in progress.
Naturally, I went on to study film at Chapman University, but it was there, through an unexpected nudge from a cinematography professor, that I realized what I was really drawn to was the still image.
That realization led me from London to New York to Los Angeles - working with publications like Vogue, Men's Vogue, Brides, Los Angeles Times Magazine, and C California Style. I earned a degree in Photography & Imaging from Art Center College of Design in 2008.
Life then brought me briefly to Austin, Texas where I met my husband, and eventually back to the Bay Area, where we’re now raising our three boys, two tuxedo cats, and one very stubborn husky. My entry to motherhood was not easy. My first son suffered a brain injury at birth and in a single moment, our lives were forever changed.
It wasn’t until I came out of the fog of early motherhood that I felt the pull to reclaim myself - to remember that I am more than just “mom.” Through connection, creativity, and a slow return to self, I’ve found my way back. And in that process, I’ve learned how to truly see and celebrate the woman I’ve always been - and the one I’m still becoming.
That’s what I hold space for in my work.
It’s a privilege to create portraits that help women recognize their own strength, their beauty, and the truth of who they are.
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TIPS FOR THE BEST GOLDEN HOUR PHOTOS
Let's Make
SOMETHING
BEAUTIFUL
Whether you’ve just discovered those life-altering lines, find yourself gracefully carrying the weight of late pregnancy, are navigating the tender blur of sleepless nights, or simply marveling at how swiftly your baby has grown beyond your arms—every season of motherhood holds a beauty all its own. Even in the quiet moments of rediscovery, when the fog begins to lift and your strength shines anew, each chapter is a story worthy of being preserved as timeless art.
